Most couples have these "perpetual" issues-issues that are always there. These are issues that were there on the day they met and will still be there after 30 years-if the marriage survives that long. Many psychologists feel that when we enter relationship with someone we immediately assume a number of these issues; if we go to another relationship, there will be another set of perpetual issues- different ones maybe, but perpetual nonetheless.
In fact, marital research shows that 69% of the time in marital conflict is spent arguing about these "perpetual" issues-issues that are never going to change. Unfortunately, couples become "gridlocked" on these problems. Trying to "solve" the unsolvable (like character, personality, or values differences between husband and wife) creates stress, anger, frustration and conflict.
Partners don't usually change in response to pressure from their partners. This is sometimes because they don't want to change. In other cases, partners are incapable or unwilling to change the issue that is causing the problem. We often see cases where partners don't change because they feel they would be "giving in" to the other if they did-and this they are unwilling to do.
Instead of becoming upset, angry or frustrated because your partner has characteristics, behaviors, or values that upset you, find a way to accept and live with each other around these unsolvable issues - or leave the relationship. Remember, relationship is a "package" deal" - if there are many positives, you should learn to accept that in any relationship, we have to take the good with the not so good.