There are certain universal truths that we all face in this world -- rejoicing at the birth of a child, witnessing a child's baptism or even giving a daughter away in marriage. But there are other truths that we face as well and have in common -- tragedy, death and grief.
Tragedy, death and grief happened to Deborah Slappey Pitts and her family when her husband, age 43, died of a rare disease known as primary amyloidosis, changing their lives forever. In her second book, Pitts tells her intimate story of pain and sorrow in Shadow Living ... Paintings of Grief, the enthralling sequel to I Feel Okay, Pitts' debut bestseller. Pitts captures the attention of grievers around the world as she describes her grief in heart-breaking detail -- personalizing it as a disturbing entity that robbed their lives forever.
Filled with intense emotion and incredible remorse, Pitts takes the reader through her personal experiences of grief and sorrow by identifying and examining seven stages of the grieving process -- shock, denial, anger, bargaining, fear, depression and acknowledgment.
Stages of the Grieving Process
Pitts describes shock as an unadulterated numbness with absolute abandonment of emotions, while living in a shadowy world of despair with endless clouds of sadness. She describes Denial as a refusal to acknowledge the reality of a traumatic experience or death of a loved one; rather, choosing to live within the realms of a faux reality for protection and survival. Pitts describes Anger as extreme annoyance as the griever's emotions can sometimes become fueled with anger toward their loved ones for leaving them and toward others as well.
The fourth stage is Bargaining and Pitts describes how the griever tries to bargain with God to spare their loved one; even to the extent that the griever is willing to take their place in death. According to Pitts, Fear can be a debilitating stage and the magnitude of fear depends upon the griever, but the most common fear is the inability to function without their loved one. Depression is the most debilitating of all the grieving stages and can leave the griever with total despair, hopelessness and powerlessness with immobilized sadness. Finally, Acknowledgment brings the griever to accepting the reality of living in the present without their loved one, describes Pitts. It's the new norm of one's existence. It's acknowledging the physical death and embracing a new life without their loved one.
Shadow Living…Paintings of Grief was recently honored as a 2007 National Best Books Awards Finalist. Pitts is the author of Booking Matters national best-seller and best autobiography, I Feel Okay -- a heart-wrenching account of love, loss and inspiration. Pitts travels the United States as an inspirational speaker educating others about the devastating effects of the amyloidosis diseases and the physiological and psychological effects of grief.